A Few Clouds Freckled the Sky

Beach with Ferris Wheel

“I’ve never been on a Ferris wheel,” I said.  We kept holding hands even though it was a little sticky.  I didn’t want him to let go yet.  Maybe he would hold onto my hand a little bit longer.  I realized that I didn’t know when he would think he was too big to do that any more. 

“Really?” he asked.  His grip grew a little tighter as we walked across the bumpy sand.

“I don’t know why I have been so afraid to go on one.  One day I went on a roller coaster three times.  A Ferris wheel seems less scary than a roller coaster.”  I stared at that Ferris wheel.  The closer we got to it, the bigger it grew.  The sun bounced off the shiny parts as it moved.  My fear started to bubble up inside of me again.  I wondered if we should wait and go another time.

“You’re right, Mama.  A roller coaster looks a lot scarier than a Ferris wheel.  Remember when we were at home, and you were scared to go down the big slide at the pool?  That wasn’t even scary,” he giggled.

“I know!  I don’t like rides.  One year at Whiz Bang Days, I didn’t even go on any rides, but I threw up when I got home anyway, just from watching my friends twirl around on the scrambler.”

“I like rides,” he said.  The thin shadow of the wheel blocked the sun.  As we climbed inside the car, it wobbled back and forth.  We strapped ourselves in, and a man closed the gate.  We lifted up, but just enough to let the next car get filled with passengers.  The higher we went, the more we could see.  There were only a few clouds to freckle the sky; the only blemishes on the ocean were the swimmers close to shore.  We slowly circled around and around.  Not one butterfly made my stomach flutter.

“Look at the blue umbrellas,” he said.

“They’re all in a straight line,” I said. 

“Are you scared?” he asked, as he looked at my hands holding onto the bar in front of us.

“No!  This is so much fun.”

After we got off, we went right back on again!  Around we went, and towards the end I held his precious hand. 

This post was prompted by Red Writing Hood @ www.writeonedge.com   

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “A Few Clouds Freckled the Sky

  1. I like it generally, but it ends very, very fast. Except for the ending, it is an adorable piece, and the reader can feel your protagonists’ fear as the shadow of the ferris wheel looms. I only wish that the end tapered off, instead of wrapping up so quickly! 🙂

  2. This was beautifully written. I love what you did with the prompt and how you touched on the reality of a relationship like this. Just visiting for the first time – I have to ask – is it true? 🙂

    • Thanks so much! Yes, most of this is true. Like missing holding my son’s hand, now that he is almost 18. It didn’t exactly happen this way – I just remembered things and pieced them together to make up this story. Thanks for stopping by and for your comment.

  3. I’m really happy that the characters had a positive experience on the Wheel. I am personally terrified of them. The ending was abrupt, but I very much like the conversation about the umbrellas in a row. Children see things in a plainer way than we adults do, and that can be immensely reassuring at times!

  4. I want to know what they saw from the top of the ferris wheel. How many times around it took before they were brave enough to look beyond and below.

    Loved the rest of it, though.

    By the way, I think of word counts as suggestions. You aren’t being graded on it and nobody’s going to yell at you if you go over.

  5. Nicely done, I like how you told him you were afraid, yet you did it anyway and then by doing it again you showed him how he himself could try new things that he might be afraid of and they would turn out alright.

    It reminded me of the first time I took my grandson on the Ferris Wheel, while he had loved the Merry-Go-Round, he hated the wheel. Once it started spinning around he said, “Get out” and tried to lift the bar. When that didn’t work he started crying and got louder and louder saying, “I want Papa,” it was the worst Ferris Wheel ride of my life. 🙂

    Keep up the great job!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s