Tag Archive | Handshake

Gumby Handshake

Reader’s Digest recently reported that the first seven years after the onset of menopause, women lose 30 percent of their bone mass.  How on earth is any older woman able to stand up?  All the menopausal women are turning into Gumby as I write this!

This is when I got very concerned about the proper act of handshaking. 

When I was growing up, no one taught me how to shake hands.  Believe it or not, this is not a thing that ladies did.  It is not anyone’s fault that I did not learn how to accomplish this little trick of etiquette and that I had to try to learn how to do this task on my own.  Sometimes we have to try to figure things out by ourselves.

“That is the wimpiest handshake that I ever felt.  It felt like a wet noodle,” a young man said to me quite a while ago, when the trend of shaking hands was becoming more popular.  I didn’t know how to respond to his comment.  I just smiled.  I didn’t want to get into how I didn’t learn how to shake hands and that I was in the process of teaching myself.  This guy probably was not aware that there are no classes being taught on this subject.

Now that I have experienced more handshakes, there are times when a man will shake my hand and their grip is so tight that it seems as if he truly wants to arm wrestle.  When these men’s fathers taught this mannerly deed, I am pretty sure that the Dads wanted their sons to have a nice firm grip, not to scare someone into thinking that they might have to be prepared to arm wrestle.  Well, let me tell the men of America that it is not necessary to shake a woman’s hand in that manner.  If you want to arm wrestle with boys, go find some to arm wrestle with.  If you want to arm wrestle with girls, tell us first, so we are prepared.

I think that I am probably speaking for most of the women in America when I say to please not squeeze our hands too tight, no matter how old we are.  We do not want all our fingers to get stuck together like Gumby’s!  Don’t embarrass yourself by breaking some lady’s hand bones.  We need to hang onto all the bone mass we can.