It is What it Isn’t

During the middle of the night the other night, Lila came to our room because she heard the wooden floor squeaking when I got out of bed.  Lila had been in the habit of visiting us during the night whether she heard a floor board squeak or not, so I thought she needed to go outside this night too.  I was beginning to think that Lila had the smallest bladder ever given to a black lab!  I went downstairs with her, and as is our habit, I grabbed her collar so that I could put it on her before she went outside.  She looked at me, and quickly turned and sauntered off to her bed.  As she made herself comfortable, I understood what she was telling me!  Lila was just checking up on us to see if we were okay, and she did not need to go outside.  This beginning of sleeping through the night is a great accomplishment. 

It makes me very happy to see her communicating this way.  There were times when I was losing hope.  I thought that she wasn’t really making any kind of connection with us, but it could have been that I was not making a connection with her.  Part of me was still missing my old dog, Music.  I would think, “Oh, Music would never do that,” when Lila did something that frustrated me like bite and tear apart the tassels that held the drapes back in the dining room.  Music lived in our house for a very long time; she watched all of our movements and knew exactly what was going to happen.  We communicated with Music and she communicated with us.  It took me a while to figure out that our new dog is not my old dog, and that I will always miss that old dog of mine no matter how hard I try not to.  One dog is not a replacement for another.  We have been playing, bonding and taking good care of Lila, but I need to stop making comparisons. We are still getting to know her and she is still getting to know all of us, but still deep inside, I am realizing that Lila is not a substitute.

Lila needs to know that she will be loved for who she is, and that she does not need to worry about not being loved for who she isn’t.  Now we are doing just that every day and it is making life better.

This is part of the Saturday morning blog hop.  To see other posts on the blog hop, click here.

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8 thoughts on “It is What it Isn’t

  1. I can so sympathize with you. In my case the ‘old’ dog is still living with us and at times Delilah can be very frustrating. Sometimes I need to take a step back, take a deep breath and redirect myself! LOL You will get through it, you’re smart and you will find the bond with her. Just keep trying new things and you will discover what works for her.

    As I’m contstantly being reminded, “What works for one dog, does not necessarily work for another.”

    And remember, you have a ton of support at your fingertips!

  2. This is such a good reminder as I’m beginning the process of finding a new dog to join our family. Our Shelby was a wonderful, sweet and gentle dog. It took me a long time to even consider the possibility of ever having another dog in my life again. Now I feel like I’m ready, but I guess a new dog will bring back some bittersweet memories.

    Lila sounds like a sweet dog and a smart, loving one too.

  3. So easy to do. I’ve done both with dogs and cats. It is difficult to grieve and miss one pet when we are trying to take care of anything. Lila probably understands more than you realize, so don’t be too hard on yourself. She’s probably just waiting patiently for you to come around. 🙂

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