Archive | May 2011

The grocery store is out to get me, by maryannsteiner

On a recent trip to the grocery store, with my carefully written out grocery list in hand and a somewhat frazzled demeanor,  I stopped at the case of hams.  Trying to pick out the most delicious looking ham to share for our Easter dinner, I carefully moved my half-filled shopping cart out of the way so that it was stationed directly behind me.  These little things I do on occasion, to try to be polite and not take up so much space.  I was making room for my fellow shoppers because this was a popular spot being visited by several customers.  After I finally located the ham that I was sure was the right weight, and after deciding between a shank, or shankless ham, I turned around and noticed to my great dismay that my beloved cart went missing.  My cart, that had been loaded with half of the menu items that were on my carefully planned-out grocery list, was sadly nowhere to be found.  I bit my lip and went in search of my cart.  The cart, I remind you, that was half loaded with goodies, that I would have to re-stock if I had to begin anew.  I thanked my lucky stars that I had not left my carefully written out grocery list in that cart.  I clutched that grocery list as if it was the last thread of my sanity!

I felt my shoulders sink low as I ventured through the store.  As I looked through the dairy section, frozen section, bakery items,  there was no abandoned cart to be found.  All the carts were being escorted throughout the store and those carts looked to be in the company of the person who had been its rightful owner.  When I found myself back at the entrance of the store, I regretfully befriended a new cart but did not give up on my quest.  I did not restock this new cart.  I continued to search for the cart with all the beautifully colored produce items that I had recently placed there.  Through the produce aisles I searched and the candy aisle.  Sadly, still no cart.

I wanted to stomp my feet and bash this new cart into something, but I kept my cool!  I thought about locating a manager.  There should be a way to trace a cart.  They can scan almost every item at the checkout lane.  Bar codes should be placed on every cart from here on out.  How can someone just steal a person’s cart like that?  How long did it take the thief to realize that they had gone off with another person’s cart?  Didn’t the thief realize that they were not the person who carefully placed those items in the cart they were escorting around the store?  Were my carefully chosen items being handled by this stranger and being scanned by an unfamiliar cashier at this very minute?  I decided that this is a very rude way of trying to drive a person crazy. 

I briefly looked down all the other aisles I recently visited, and still no cart.  When I got back to the meat department, there I saw an abandoned cart, all alone, with no escort.  My beloved cart had been just a short roll away from where I had previously been.  It had not been there before when I first tried to find it.  The thief was not as aloof as I had thought and had somewhat realized where they had made their mistake and left the cart close to the meat department.  Well, after all, are we not all human?  We do all make mistakes now and then, I told myself as I reluctantly forgave my fellow shopper.  Well, even I, I admit, had been an unaware thief of someone else’s shopping cart once upon a time, except not long enough to make someone go off on a wild chase throughout the store with their hand desperately clutching a grocery list.

I took a deep breath, straightened out my shoulders, settled back into my routine and continued filling up my precious cart.  As I was getting ready to check out, I spied my favorite cashier.  Waiting for my turn, again with my cart behind me, I almost got run over by the lady who was in line in front of me and who was navigating a motorized cart.  She started backing up without turning her head around to see if anyone was behind her.  Did you know that those motorized carts do not make any beeping noises when put in reverse?  As I was quickly moving, I again thought about locating a manager.  Can’t something be done to these motorized carts so that when being put in reverse, it would make a beeping sound?  Every other little motorized thing makes a sound when it goes in reverse.  Thankfully, I ducked out of the way without making a scene. 

I swear the grocery store is out to get me!  I would order groceries on-line, but really, there’s no adventure in that!